Cushing's Info

My name is Jessinta H.  I'm 23 and I was recently diagnosed with Cushing's.  I will be going to the Mayo clinic in Rochester, MN on the 17th of this month for treatment.  I'm not going to lie to you, I'm nervous.  I just want my life back; I want my appearance back.  I'm hoping all this happens after I start down the road of recovery.

You know, I've been handling the disease itself pretty well, for the most part.  It has all happened at a very inconvenient time in my life.  This year I won the coveted title of Miss Rodeo North Dakota 2009.  I was supposed to go and compete for the prestige title of Miss Rodeo America last week In Las Vegas; a dream of mine since I was 12 years old.  Sadly, due to my health, I was not able to compete.  For the last year of my life, I spent 8-12 hours a day studying for this competition;  Also, not to mention, all the knowledge I gained by studying years prior.  The money my family spent on clothing was outrageous.  I just feel as though my life is slightly empty.  You know, you’ve been striving towards something for eleven years and just like that, it’s gone.

Also, I hate to be a vein person, but I was a pretty girl.  Since this disease has taken over my body, I am no longer a pretty girl.  I look like a cross between a fat ware-wolf and a cabbage patch kid covered with acne.  I’ve always been a social person.  I can talk to anyone about anything.  Now I have a hard time even showing my face in public.

I was very mad at first when all this happened.  I needed someone to blame and naturally I blamed God.  Why did he do this to me?  Was he teaching me a lesson for my slight vanity?  Did I judge too many people in my past?  Was he punishing me for some act of cruelty?  I never thought of myself as a bad person, but perhaps I was.  I would sit, cry, and ask him what I did wrong.

I sat down and talked to my grandma about how I was feeling and she told me, “God cannot take away the influence of the devil from this world; God cannot simply do away with the entire world’s evil.  What God can do is direct all the bad things in the world to the people he knows is strong enough to handle the challenge.  Don’t be mad at God sweetie for doing this to you, instead, this sounds strange, but feel honored.  If God knows you are strong enough to handle this situation, he expects great things from you.”

I started thinking about what my grandma said and she is right.  I can use this story to motivate people.  I did a lot of motivational speaking about goal seeking and setting throughout my tenure as Miss Rodeo North Dakota.  My base line is use when I speak is the quotation by Winston Churchill, “Never, never, never give up”.  I almost didn’t listen to my own advice.  I almost gave up this time around.  I almost got knocked down, but I will prevail through this.  My goals have changed but the way I will approach them has now not faulted.  I will prevail.

This is my story; I hope it helps you…